Looking Back Through Two Lenses
Every relationship is made up of two unique perspectives.
For neurodiverse couples, those perspectives may sometimes feel as if they come from entirely different worlds.
But rather than seeing this as a challenge, consider it an opportunity.
Taking time to reflect on the past year allows you to view your relationship through two distinct lenses, appreciating and learning from your differences. Reflection fosters curiosity, deepens understanding, and strengthens connection.
Even if your relationship doesnât feel ready for this kind of shared reflection right now, thereâs still value in the process.
You can explore your thoughts privately, with a trusted friend, or in therapy.
Reflection helps nurture personal growth and paves the way for relational growth too.
Your Reflection Blueprint đ
Now, take a moment to reflect on your year with these thoughtful questions. Each prompt is designed to help you uncover insights and set intentions for the year ahead.
Highlights and Challenges â¨
What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
What was the most challenging, and how did you navigate it?
What brought unexpected joy into your life?
What obstacles taught you something important?
Personal Growth đą
How did you grow emotionally, spiritually, or physically?
What unique strengths helped you tackle challenges?
If you had to describe your year in one phrase, what would it be?
Work and Time Management đ
What energized you most in your work or daily life?
What drained your energy, and how could you shift that next year?
How did your unique ways of thinking lead to creative solutions?
Relationships and Connection đ¤
How connected or disconnected did you feel with your partner this year?
What was one meaningful moment you shared together?
How did your neurodiversity shape your relationship, positively or negatively?
What is something your partner did that youâre grateful for?
Couples-Specific Reflections â¤ď¸
In what ways did your differences create opportunities for growth and learning?
What was a moment when your perspectives clashed, and how did you handle it?
How can you create space to better understand each otherâs lens in the year ahead?
What do you each need from the relationship moving forward?
The Power of Curiosity and Acceptance đĄ
When reflecting together, aim to be curious rather than critical. Each of you brings a unique lens to your relationship.
For neurodiverse couples, exploring these lensesâwhether shaped by autism, allistic norms, or other experiencesâcan turn conflicts into opportunities for connection.
Curiosity fosters acceptance, and acceptance strengthens bonds. Even when your perspectives seem far apart, choosing to stay open can draw you closer.
What If Sharing Feels Too Hard? đą
Not all relationships feel ready for this level of sharing, and thatâs okay. If it feels too hard right now, let your partner know this is something youâd like to work toward.
In the meantime, consider sharing your reflections with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist.
Our neuro-informed specialists can help create a safe space for these conversations, making it easier for both partners to feel seen and understood.
The Reflective Pause Effect in Relationships â¤ď¸
The Reflective Pause Effect, supported by psychological research, shows that intentional reflection strengthens relationships by enhancing understanding and connection. For neurodiverse couples, this practice becomes a bridge to appreciating each otherâs unique lenses and experiences.
To take advantage of this effect:
Set aside regular time for reflection.
Identify how your differences shape communication.
Seek guidance from therapy to deepen mutual understanding.
By embracing this intentional practice, you can turn your differences into strengths, building a relationship rooted in empathy, curiosity, and shared growth.
Wishing you clarity, connection, and compassion as you move into the new year!
Warmly,
Harry Motro
Clinical Director
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đŚ Spotlight on Liz McClanahan
Specialties
ââ
Neurodiverse Couples Therapy
Autism & ADHD
Parenting Autistic Children
Intimacy, Sex
Affair Recovery
Anger Management
Life Transitions
Depression, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, Personality Disorders
Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist
Professional Qualifications
Neurodiverse Couples Specialist
Masterâs Degree in Clinical Psychology from Azusa Pacific University (APU)
Dedicated to helping neurodiverse couples improve communication, reduce conflict, and increase intimacy.
Life Experience
Diagnosed with ADHD at age 17
Married 26 years to a neurodivergent husband
Mother of three neurodivergent children:
Age 21 â Autism/ADHD/twice exceptional,
Age 18 â ADHD,
Age 13 â Autism/ADHD
Proud parent of LGBTQ+ identifying children
Caregiver to parents diagnosed with cancer through treatment and end-of-life care
Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator?
Hi, I'm Cassie Clayton, Client Care Coordinator.Â
Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you.
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The Structured Adult ADHD Self-Test (SAAST) may be used to identify adults who may have undiagnosed ADHD
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