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🤔 Think you understand autism?



Hello Neurodiverse Couples Community! 🌈


Think you understand autism?


What if there’s another way to see it?

 

Could it be a framework rooted in how our brains work moment-to-moment?


Predictive processing is a fascinating model that shows how we all, autistic or not, navigate the world by creating internal “blueprints” or expectations.


These mental maps help us anticipate what’s coming, sparing us from reinterpreting every situation from scratch.


For autistic individuals, these blueprints can be especially detailed, offering stability but also creating challenges when the world doesn’t line up.


 

🔍 What is Predictive Processing?

At its core, predictive processing is the brain’s way of making sense of the world by forming mental “blueprints” based on past experiences and current sensory information.


Everyone’s brain operates this way.


Here’s how it works: 


  1. The brain starts with a hypothesis about what’s likely to happen, drawing from previous experiences and the current context.


  2. Then, as sensory information comes in, it compares reality to the blueprint, looking for alignment.


  3. When there’s a prediction error—a mismatch between expectation and experience—the brain adjusts its internal model, gradually improving accuracy for future predictions.


This prediction process helps us avoid the exhausting task of re-evaluating each new experience from scratch, saving energy and helping us move smoothly through life.


For autistic individuals, these mental maps tend to be highly detailed and specific, creating a strong sense of stability but also less flexibility when unexpected events arise.


This approach is both adaptive and protective; by continually refining its “blueprint,” the brain creates a sense of predictability in a world that might otherwise feel overwhelming.


Understanding these blueprints can help partners communicate and interact in ways that feel safe, supportive, and genuinely aligned with each other.


 

🌐 Predictive Processing in Action: A Real-Life Example

Imagine you and your autistic partner plan to meet friends at a new restaurant. Here’s how their brain might process this experience through three possible “vectors”:

  • Physical Experience Matches the Blueprint: Your partner anticipates a quiet restaurant, familiar food, and a small group of friends. When reality aligns with this expectation, they feel calm, their internal blueprint stays steady, and the experience is positive.


  • Experience Deviates Within Tolerance:  The restaurant is a bit noisier than expected, or there’s a delay in seating. While these details don’t perfectly match their mental map, they’re still within a “zone of tolerance.” These small variations are manageable, and their blueprint can adjust, allowing the overall experience to stay comfortable.


  • Experience Challenges the Blueprint:  Now imagine the restaurant is crowded, music is loud, and the menu is unfamiliar. This situation directly conflicts with their blueprint, which can feel jarring or overwhelming. Their brain struggles to reconcile these differences, leading to anxiety or withdrawal as they try to process the experience.


For autistic individuals, these mental maps are often very specific, and the world is examined in finer detail, and with heightened sensitivity to sensory input.


Large deviations from the mental blueprint can lead to overload or frustration.


And, for their partners, understanding these reactions as part of a finely tuned map helps partners create more supportive and understanding interactions.


 

💡 How Predictive Processing Challenges Traditional Autism Views


Traditional approaches to autism often focus on observable traits—like social challenges or repetitive actions—and view these as isolated behaviors to “manage.”


Predictive processing shifts the focus inward, showing how behaviors reflect an internal logic. Instead of viewing these behaviors as “quirks,” we start asking:                       


“How does this person’s unique blueprint provide stability in a complex world?”

This perspective encourages a new kind of respect for each person’s natural mental structure, guiding us to support these patterns rather than attempt to change them.


 

🛠️ Practical Interventions: Putting Predictive Processing to Work


Our neuro-informed specialists understand how predictive processing shapes your relationship. With this understanding, we design interventions that embrace and work with each partner’s unique blueprint, enhancing connection.


  • Mapping Communication Styles:  Everyone’s mental map is different, and uncovering each partner’s communication style is key. We help you both understand these maps so you can communicate in ways that resonate, without feeling forced or uncomfortable.


  • Routine Flexibility & Adaptation:  Routines offer a sense of stability, particularly for autistic individuals, but flexibility is essential too. We work with couples to craft routines that provide predictability without feeling rigid, balancing the needs of both partners.


  • Emotional Calibration Based on Predictive Maps:  Emotions often reflect how much a situation matches or deviates from each person’s mental blueprint. We teach couples how to recognize and adjust to each other’s emotional cues, bringing alignment without misunderstandings.


  • Making Detail Focus a Tool for Clarity:  Many autistic individuals notice specific details that others might overlook. We help partners use these details to enhance communication and add depth to their conversations, seeing this focus as a strength.

  • Creating Safe Predictive Spaces:  Establishing predictable, shared “safe spaces”—whether routines, rituals, or specific activities—grounds the relationship, helping both partners feel secure within the relationship even amid external changes.


  • Aligning Expectations & Checking In:  Misaligned expectations can create frustration. Our specialists guide you in regular check-ins, allowing each partner to align their mental maps and navigate experiences together with trust and openness.


 

🧭 Ready to Explore the Depths of Your Relationship?


Imagine if understanding each other wasn’t about “fixing” but about uncovering the hidden logic behind your partner’s world.


Are you ready to see their experiences in a new way—and let them see yours?


When you’re ready, our neuro-informed specialists will be there to help.


Warmly,


Harry

Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, Clinical Director

Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center

 

 

🔦 Spotlight on Nancy Rushing


If your relationships or personal journey feel overwhelmed by the complexities of neurodiversity, Nancy Rushing is the specialist who truly understands the nuances of being both an HSP and navigating life with ADHD.


With her lived experience as a neurodivergent individual and a parent of two highly sensitive children, Nancy brings a compassionate, firsthand perspective to her work, helping clients feel seen and supported.


Nancy’s superpower? She uncovers the deeper emotional patterns and attachment needs that shape relationships and individual experiences, whether you’re navigating anxiety, sensory sensitivities, or the unique dynamics of neurodiverse partnerships.


With her integrative therapeutic approach, Nancy combines evidence-based modalities like CBT, EFT, and trauma-informed care to tailor sessions to your unique challenges. Together, you’ll discover tools to break free from repetitive cycles, gain clarity and confidence, and build relationships that honor both individuality and connection.



 

Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator?



Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you.



 

Think You May be Masking Your Autistic Traits?


The Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) may be used to identify autistic individuals who do not currently meet diagnostic criteria due to their ability to mask.



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