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💡 Late-Life Autism Diagnosis: The Unexpected Journey for Couples


Have you ever felt like you’ve been living life on autopilot, only to be jolted awake by a surprising discovery? 


Imagine finding out, after decades, that the quirks and challenges you or your partner face have a name: Autism. 


This revelation can be both liberating and overwhelming, especially for couples. 


Let’s dive into how a late-life autism diagnosis can impact your neurodiverse relationship and ways to navigate this new chapter together.


💡 The Late-Life Diagnosis Shockwave


🔍 Understanding the Revelation


  • Imagine living your entire life without knowing why certain things felt so different or challenging. A diagnosis later in life can be a game-changer, offering clarity and a new perspective. 


  • For couples, this can explain years of misunderstandings and frustrations, suddenly making sense of those "puzzle pieces" that never quite fit.


💬 A Real-Life Story (with names changed)


Meet Jane and Mike, married for 30 years. Jane had long suspected that Mike might be on the autism spectrum, often hinting at her suspicions. When their child was diagnosed with autism, it prompted Mike to seek a diagnosis at 55. 


Jane felt a mix of validation and frustration, often thinking, "I knew it all along." 


Mike, on the other hand, grappled with feelings of shame and regret, wondering why it took him so long to figure it out. 


With the help of one of our neuro-informed therapists, their journey of rediscovery was filled with moments of empathy, patience, and renewed connection.


Instead of trying to "fix" Mike, they focused on finding new ways to interact while learning to accept each other's way of being and thinking.


 

 📊 Eye-Opening Statistics



  • In a SPARK Study involving over 22,000 autistic adults and 102,000 children, about 50% of the autistic adults were diagnosed when they were older than 17, some in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.

Some sought a diagnosis for themselves after their child was diagnosed with autism. Other adults benefited from a public awareness of autism that did not exist when they were growing up.


  • If you or someone you care for is interested in pursuing a diagnosis, we encourage you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Center for more information and support.


 

 🚀 Actionable Steps for Couples



📚 Educate Yourselves


  • Dive into resources about adult autism. Knowledge is power and can help you understand each other better.



💬 Open Dialogue


  • Regular check-ins with each other. Ask open-ended questions like, “How can I better understand how you think and what you need?"

  • Create a safe space for honest conversations, free from interruptions.


🌈 Embrace the Journey


  • Focus on strengths. Celebrate the unique qualities that each partner brings to the relationship.


  • Develop new routines that accommodate both partners' needs. Flexibility and compromise are vital.


💬 Accept and Adapt


  • Resist the urge to "fix" your autistic partner.


  • Instead, find new ways to communicate and connect, embracing each other's unique traits and perspectives. Valuing these differences can enrich your bond.


 

Remember, this journey is uniquely yours. Embrace it with compassion, curiosity, and love.


Our team of neuro-informed couples counselors and assessments specialists would love to be on the journey with you!


Until next week, 

 

Harry

Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT, Clinical Director

Founder Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center


 

Want to Meet with Our Client Care Coordinator?



Let's talk so I can match you with the neurodiverse specialist that's right for you.


 


Do You Struggle to Recognize and Express Emotions?


Want to see if your behavior is consistent with alexithymia? 


We invite you to visit the Adult Autism Assessment Site and



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