Relationships can be challenging, and for neurodiverse couples, those challenges often come with unique layers of complexity.

But here’s the good news—you don’t have to face them alone.

For over 40 years, I’ve been in a neurodiverse relationship with my high school sweetheart. Together, we’ve navigated grief and loss, financial storms, and health crises, and we even separated for two years. My personal experience and advanced clinical training in counseling psychology equip me with a deep understanding of the joys and hurdles neurodiverse couples face. If you feel your relationship is on shaky ground due to neurodiversity, I’m here to help.

Tackling Common Neurodiverse Relationship Challenges

One of the most common patterns I see in therapy is communication struggles. Misunderstandings can escalate quickly when partners don’t know how to express their needs or interpret each other’s cues. I help couples identify the roadblocks in their communication and introduce strategies like active listening, open needs-sharing, and negotiation that pave the way for deeper understanding.

Another frequent challenge is balancing emotional regulation. One partner may feel constantly overwhelmed or anxious while the other seems far more relaxed, creating a divide in how emotions are handled. Together, we’ll work on finding a middle ground—creating space for feelings without constantly trying to “fix” each other.

“We are born in a relationship, we are wounded in a relationship, and we can be healed in a relationship.” --Harville Hendrix

And then, there are the triggers. No relationship is immune to them, but in neurodiverse relationships, these triggers can be heightened, especially due to sensory issues. We’ll explore ways to identify each partner’s triggers and develop techniques to reduce overstimulation. Whether it’s through setting boundaries, creating calming routines, or practicing grounding exercises, we’ll find tools that work for you.

In addition to weekly or twice-a-month therapy sessions, I also offer Couples Retreats and Intensives and ASD and ADHD Assessments.

Couples Retreats & Intensives

Struggling in your relationship? It’s time to take action. My couples intensives are designed to help you and your partner reconnect, heal, and move forward—quickly and effectively. Unlike traditional therapy, which can stretch over months or even years, intensives deliver meaningful progress in just a matter of days.

Through a blend of evidence-based therapeutic techniques and intuitive guidance, you’ll work with me in person or over Zoom in a focused, immersive environment. Whether you’re facing the pain of trauma, stuck in unhealthy patterns, or standing at the edge of separation, these sessions provide a clear path forward.

ASD & ADHD Assessments

Neurodivergence is part of who you are. For clarity, neurodiversity-affirming assessments unveil strengths and foster growth, helping individuals thrive in a world that often misunderstands Autism and ADHD.

I use this thorough, personalized process utilizing tools like MIDAS-2 and SRS-2 for Autism and CAARS and Brown EF/A scales for ADHD, alongside interviews and evaluations for meaningful results. It’s not just a diagnosis but a gateway to self-understanding and empowerment.

Recognizing the challenges faced by neurodivergent adults, this approach celebrates individuality, unlocking potential, enhancing communication, and building social confidence. The goal is to help people feel seen and understood in daily life. These assessments aim to offer what many have wished for during their journeys by providing support that often feels out of reach.

This process can be a transformative first step for those ready to pursue clarity and empowerment.

Why I’m Different

I’m Barbara Lazarony, but everyone calls me Blaze.

I bring more than theoretical knowledge—I’ve lived this experience. My personal insights as someone in a neurodiverse relationship, combined with evidence-based therapeutic approaches, create a unique space for couples to thrive.

Every couple’s story is different, and I’m here to honor yours. It’s not just about managing conflict—it’s about building a foundation of patience, love, and mutual understanding.

My Back Story

I'm a mature adult living out my third career; my first role was working in retail for twenty years, where I mentored executives and managed $2.5 billion in sales across 42 locations in the United States. I was uber-successful with a sassy job title and a large office overlooking Market Street in San Francisco. I loved it! But, little did I know back then that I was an overachieving workaholic, and the signs that my health was an issue couldn’t be ignored any longer.

In 2003, I was told I had thyroid cancer, and I decided to resign from my job. Those were dark times for me; in addition to cancer, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It was a journey, and I sought support from modern and holistic medicine, along with help from fantastic therapists and coaches. The truth was, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted out of life beyond my job title.

As I was healing from cancer, I earned an Advanced Certified Integral Coach certification and started my own business. I loved being a coach for eighteen years but realized I could not help people achieve long-lasting success, fulfillment, and healing because I didn’t have the skills, training, and knowledge to get to the root of the issues holding them back. To support people in the way I wanted to, I decided to go to graduate school at the age of fifty-three and earn my Master's degree in Counseling Psychology.

Since finishing my degree and earning my LMFT, I have navigated different types of cancer twice and supported my life partner through his cancer journey. And sadly, no one in the medical profession told me I had both an acquired and genetic form of neurodiversity; it took me a while to discover that my brain was wired differently. I know what it feels like to be different from everyone else! I am someone who understands the deep well of trauma and grief that needs to be acknowledged and validated in therapy.

So, Enough About Me, Let's Talk About You...

If you and your partner are navigating the challenges of a neurodiverse relationship, reach out today. You deserve a fulfilling and strong relationship, no matter what life throws your way.

We’ll work toward clear communication, deeper connection, and lasting love. You’re not alone—I’m ready to guide you on this path.

Specialties and Certifications

• Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist 151788

• Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counselor 10253

• Neurodiverse Couples Specialist

• Certified Autism & ADHD Assessment Specialist

• Advanced Certified Trauma Specialist

• Advanced Certified Integral Coach

• Brainspotting Certified-Level I & II

Life Experience

• Has personal experience in multiple neurodiverse relationships

• Worked with thousands of people as a Coach, Manager, Leader, and Mentor

• Former careers as an Executive and Business Coach, Executive Director in a non-profit, and Senior Director in retail-coaching people, as well as managing staffing operations and finances

Education

• Bachelor of Science in Home Economics, Fashion Merchandising, The Ohio State University

• Master of Science in Clinical Psychology, Sofia University, also earned a Certificate in Creative Expression.

More about Barbara (Blaze)  

• Diagnosed as Neurodiverse 20 years ago

• Offers Neurodiverse Couples Retreats

• Married for 35+ years to her high school sweetheart, together for 40 years

• Cancer Survivor -3 times!

• Links to Blog Posts

  
  

  Barbara (Blaze) Lazarony's Blog Posts