About Tamala:

Hi there!

I was late-diagnosed ADHD (inattentive) at age 49. Two of my three adult children were also diagnosed with ADHD in their late teens/early 20’s. My oldest child is undiagnosed, however they are likely autistic/ADHD as well. My husband of 27 years is late-diagnosed with AuDHD (at age 48). 

I am a survivor of childhood emotional neglect and abuse. This is common among the neurodiverse as even the most well-meaning parents may not have the appropriate tools to support their children. It’s also common for those parents to have been neurodiverse as well, with their own experience of neglect and abuse, handing down their generational trauma. 

Soon after having been diagnosed with ADHD, I became an empty nester. My first career as a non-profit and professional development consultant was cut short by COVID, so I decided to go back to school and become a therapist focusing on trauma recovery. 

I am sharing this with you because I believe it will help me understand and support you. I look forward to hearing from you.

Navigating Neurodiverse Relationships

Neurodiverse couples work is about building communication and coping skills that work best in this particular relationship while maintaining one’s autonomy and individual self. 

In neurodiverse relationships, clients may have difficulty understanding each other, may be unsure what is OK and not OK to do or say, may feel lonely or annoyed, and may feel like fights and conversations continue to go around and around without resolution. 

My goal with couples is to meet both individuals where they are at and to assist each individual identify their needs and wants, articulate them, and respond when their partner does the same. The couple decides where they want to go with the relationship and works best for them. And in this process, I hold space, grace, and validation for each individual’s experience in how they process the world as well as the emotional lessons they have learned from their past. 

You Are NOT Alone

The neurodiverse experience can feel lonely. Whether you are neurodiverse or have a neurodiverse partner/family member, it can feel like you are expected to behave a certain way and say certain things, or that no matter how hard you try, you can’t do it right. Maybe you feel like there are things that just don’t make sense but nobody else can see it. That struggle can feel so lonely. 

My intention in therapy is to provide a space where you are no longer alone. Whether in couples or individual therapy, I am there to support you and hold space for your lived experiences.

You Can Do This

You have made it to this moment. Congratulations! But I’m guessing those coping skills you developed aren’t working as well anymore and you’re looking for something to help navigate life and relationships. The good news is that you can learn new skills that are more appropriate to your life now. You did it before, and you can do it again. 

I believe all of us have the capacity to heal and improve our inner lives. That said, it can sometimes be difficult to do this work alone, let alone know what to do at all. 

That’s where therapy can be a bridge to confidence and a calmer inner world. When humans work together interdependently, we can go further and do better than we can do alone. My position as a therapist is to support my clients in this journey to inner strength and groundedness.

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My Therapeutic Philosophy

While it seems like today we have more understanding of (neuro)diversity, more grace and compassion for each other, and more freedom to move about the cabin without masking, we also live in the modern world where we witness folks’ lives on full display to be judged on social media, where we are told we can do anything yet can receive harsh criticism for not being perfect, and where there is a lingering feeling of uncertainty of the future. This mixed messaging can be destabilizing.

In addition, our sense of self and perceptions of others are derived from a combination of our personal experiences (including trauma and triumphs), what we learned from our caretakers, the lessons from other authority figures, society’s messages, and our neurobiology. This mixture is unique to each individual. How we process information therefore has an impact on how we perceive and interact with ourselves and others. 

I believe a therapist’s role is to provide stability while the client(s) works through uncertainty, reality checks the lessons they learned in life, tries something new, and finds a healthy path to what it looks like for them to be grounded. The specifics will look different for each client(s), but all sessions are built around the principles of acceptance, patience, and kindness.

I work collaboratively with the client(s) to identify areas of focus and what works best for them from their perspective. In our 50-min. sessions, therapy goals are usually a combination of gaining clarity, self-awareness, self-compassion, and coping skills. When working with couples or families, communication skills are a significant part of the work as well.

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Areas of focus

• Adult diagnosed/suspected ADHD/Autism/AuDHD

• ADHD/AuDHD with anxiety and depression

• Women/Non-binary with ADHD/AuDHD

• cPTSD and Trauma

• Adolescent diagnosed/suspected ADHD/Autism/AuDHD

• Parents of adolescent/adult neurodiverse children

• Childhood emotional neglect/emotional abuse 

• Adult neurodiverse relationships with parents and other family members

• Empty nest/menopause transitions

• Multi-cultural relationships/families

• Intersection of neurodiversity and LGBTQ+ 

• Young adult launching (college, early career, living away from parents, adult relationships)

• Self Esteem and Assertiveness

• Social media/video game addiction

• Religious/cult abuse recovery

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Modalities

• Client-centered Therapy

• Trauma Informed Therapy (CTP certified)

• Solution Focused Therapy 

• Strengths-Based Approach

• Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT)

• Somatic Therapy for Trauma

• Tarot Therapy

• Positive Psychology

• Relationship Anarchy approach: 

  • anti-hierarchical practices (everyone in the relationship is equal)

  • anti-normativity (every relationship’s success criteria is unique to them)

  • interdependency (partners can share feelings and needs openly and safely)

  • individual autonomy (each partner is a complete human on their own)

​License & Certifications

• ​Registered Associate Marriage Family Therapist, AMFT

• Registered Professional Clinical Counselor

• Certified Trauma Professional (CTP)

Education

• Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology, Antioch University of Los Angeles

Employment Information

• Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452

• Employed by New Path Couples Therapy Inc.